Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Reaching the big "O"

Ask and you shall receive!

Many of you wanted to advice on attaining orgasms...Particularly with self stimulation.

The fact is that this seems to be a common problem.  I know a lot of women that have never taken matters into their own hands.  I don't know how its possible for you to truly achieve a good level of comfort and satisfaction with a partner if you don't know how to satisfy yourself first.  Men learn at a young age about self stimulation and it doesn't have the stigma that a woman gets.  Women are often embarrassed and uncomfortable with diving in and finding out what exactly is it that you need.

I had this problem myself.  I was sexually active for around 2 years before I ever took matters into my own hands.  I had been with a lot of partners by then and had experienced some, at that time, what I considered good sex, but I had never had an orgasm.  I was in massage school and some girlfriends and I were talking about sex...I don't remember the exact conversation, but I had mentioned that I didn't think I had ever had an orgasm.  One of my good friends at the time was floored.  She demanded that I go home that night and immediately rectify the situation.  She told me to relax and use my hand and explore until I found something that felt good and keep doing it until I got to the point where I feel like I was going to explode and keep going past that point.

So I went home and I took her advice.  I push the uncomfortable thoughts away and went to the task of giving myself my first orgasm.  I had no toys, nothing special, just my hand and me.  I went at it for around an hour just exploring.  The feelings I got were amazing.  The hard to breathe, tight chest, flushed face, ringing in my ears, feeling like I going to explode was such a mass of overwhelming sensations I felt like I was going to pass out.  I didn't pass out, but my eyes did roll back in my head and my entire body shook like I was having a seizure.   It was one of the most spectacular experiences in my life.

Its been about 10 years since then I have tried all sorts of toys and different sorts of ways to masturbate.  My sex life improved immensely and I am so much more aware of my body's needs.  It makes me more confident and much better at expressing what I want with a partner as well.

The key to giving yourself orgasms and making them easier is to really get hands on.  There are many different types of toys and the selection can be overwhelming.  I suggest that if you want a toy you start with a simple bullet toy or a longer vibrator for thrusting (or both.)  What you need to do before you get into toys is to just touch yourself and find out where you like stimulation.  There are plenty of areas and many different types of sensations.

Set aside some time alone and, if it helps you relax, grab a glass of wine or put on some music.  They key is to get comfortable.  Don't be afraid to touch yourself all over not just going straight to business.  Romance yourself so to speak.  Touch your breasts, your legs, rub your hands over your skin.  Just get comfortable with touching yourself.

Take a while with this...Learn all your own little nuances.  Then when you find you something you enjoy the most keep at it.  Whether it is clit stimulation, g spot, or even a little anal stimulation, just don't be scared. 

Do it often (as often as your comfortable) and it will become like second nature to you.  Once you have a rhythm you can push your boundaries and try new things and find other things that are pleasurable for you.  The key is to get comfortable and get to know your body.  The better you know yourself the better your sex life will be.

And to the men...encourage your ladies to be comfortable with herself.  You will benefit ten-fold in the end if your lady knows how to please herself and what she wants.  It makes things much easier for you if shes comfortable with her body.  That comfort can lead to exploring fantasies and being more open to try new things.

Hope that was what you ladies were looking for.  I could probably go on longer, but that would just get boring...So get to touching yourselves
and happy masturbating!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Ménage à trois


This is a French term, literally a 'household of three', that has made its way into English. The meaning that applies to a one-off sexual liaison rather than a domestic arrangement is also known as a threesome. 



 All this past week Random Girl has been talking about threesomes. This got me thinking about my past experiences with them. I have had 3. She covered all the different combination's you can have. I have only experienced one of the types, that is the FMF. Maybe someday I will try a MMF but I don't see that as being very likely or in the near future so enjoy what I have for you now.

I was young for my first experience. A male (he is not worthy to be called a man but was definitely grown to be considered more then a boy) I was dating invited another girl into our play. This was okay with me. She and I both had the hots for him and were friendly with each other. I think this is the best dynamic I have ever been involved with. I know personally I did not end up feeling neglected at all and this particular experience gave me my first time with a female. Being the youngest, and least experienced of the group, I let them lead and show me how it was done. Communication was amazing! It probably helps that I enjoy being instructed and learning. We met several times over the coming months and I would definitely rank it as one of my more favorite time periods sexually. The thoughts of J, the way she touched, felt, tasted still are stored in the "bank" for my use.  

My second time was several years later. A former boyfriend contacted me and asked if I would be interested in joining in with his girl friend at the time. I was bored so I agreed. This time around I was the "old hand" as neither of them had done anything like this before. The dynamic was VERY different. The GF took the submissive role and I had to be teacher. However it was very obvious that the GF was not totally comfortable. She was there to please him and only touched me with frigid fingers. Shied away from my initiated contact with her.  Looking back at it I almost feel bad for her. This feeling is brought about mostly by my third experience. I still socialize with both of them and believe that since we have become better friends things would be better/easier. Also knowing the type of person she is now I would not put her in that situation.

Finally my third try. ~sigh~ This is my regrettable one. Live and learn right? I was seeing a man and he asked if I would be willing to bring in a second female. SURE! I had, had relative success in the past and it would make him happy. So the hunt began. From the very beginning it was awful for me. Always judging "what about her? Is she good enough for you?" and pushing "Just ask, we have to try or it will never happen." Plus I had to do all the work. "Well you are the female, it's easier for another girl to talk to you."  Then came the deadline. He is a very goal oriented person, generally in life that is a good thing. Not so much when dealing with females. He was bound and determined to find someone by the last day of the month. So all efforts were doubled. Finally via the lovely interwebz he found a willing participant who met the criteria. I was so fed up with the whole thing I just wanted it over with. He picked her up and brought her home one day that we had all agreed upon. She was so young! I actually asked for ID because she was so young looking. The amount of awkward was suffocating. Again I took the lead.....light kissing, easy petting. This gradually lead into heavier stuff and being the nice girl I am, she finally came. I was hoping this would calm her down a little bit and relax her. She seemed a little 'Big doe eyed scared shitless.' Oh it did calm her down, right to sleep. Which left me and my man to handle ourselves...umm...ourselves. I find the outcome amusing, but frustrating all the same. Gladly that relationship ended shortly there after. 


So there you have it boys and girls, my three stories about group sex. I hope you all enjoyed and see you next time.      

We want to make you happy too!

Thats right ladies and gents...

We are having a toy giveaway!!!
On top of getting toys to review we do spend our hard earned money on other toys that we want and we know our way around some toy shops.

Another online toy shop that we frequent is Eden Fantasys
and they have a ton of things to choose from on their site.  I have placed several orders with them and have gotten several extra freebies including this

100% Waterproof
Phthalate free
Hygienically safe TPE
Easy grip dial controller
Designed by a woman for a woman

Doc Johnson presents Flowers, a technological wonder covered in terrifically sensual floral shapes. Available in Swirl Hibiscus, it features multi-speed dial controllers, a fully waterproof casing, and each is cast in soft, non-toxic TPE. The perfect size, the perfect shape, the perfect shimmer.

They sell on their site for $26.99, but I am giving you all the opportunity to win one for free!
*You can also go to eden fantasys and spend money on something and get one for free too, but just enter the giveaway and you don't have to worry about buying a thing*

All you need to do to be entered into this giveaway is leave a comment on what you want us to talk about (and a way to contact you if you win.) 
What other topics do you want to see covered beyond the toy reviews?

This giveaway is open to US residents only
and will end on Saturday April 2nd, Midnight PST
The winner will be selected and posted on Sunday April 3rd

So good luck to you all!

I'm not an affiliate for this company and I don't receive any kind of commission for referrals.  I just want you all to have plenty of options and resources when it comes to education yourself and taking care of your needs ;)

Friday, March 25, 2011

I have to put that where?

Yep I guess I do if I want to review sex toys and give you all an honest review! 

I signed up as an affiliate on Good Vibrations, because lets face it...free toys just for airing my dirty laundry to the world seems like a kick ass trade off to me!  They give you a list of toys to choose from and you get to pick one out a voila you get a toy in the mail to play with.  This is the first review I am doing for them so hopefully you don't find it too damn boring and you find something you like.
*and if you want to buy something go through my link because in addition to getting free toys for whoring myself I get a commission on referred sales*

Kit Includes:
2 Batteries - AA

About the kit in general
This kit is an excellent little kit and would be great for a gift set to take on a romantic weekend getaway.  It comes with pretty much everything you need for a romantic night with your lover (except condoms) or it is prefect for just a night alone at home.

This came in a cute little 2oz tin.  Size makes it great for travel.  The ingredients for this are soy wax, soybean oil, coconut oil, shea butter, and essential oil (lavender.)  My first thought on opening the tin is what a wonderful smell.  Its a pretty strong lavender scent, but not too strong.  I like stronger scented candles though (soy wax tends to carry a better scent.)  The lit candle emits a light fragrance that isn't overpowering.

The wax isn't even close to being to hot when you drip it on your skin, just pleasantly warm.  Spreads wonderfully and when on the skin is very similar to massage oil.  If you aren't familiar with massage oils they tend to be a little on the greasier side (this is not an unpleasant greasy) and it allows for massage without absorbing into the skin to fast.  The scent left behind is a little strong, but it fades.  This product did not aggravate my skin and I have slightly sensitive skin so you should be safe.

If you don't like essential oils or have reactions to them this would not be a product for you
Slight greasy residue
*neither of these were a problem from me just a warning to you all*

The scent I received was amber rose and it came in a small 2oz bar.  Kinda looks like a guest bath soap.  The ingredients are cocoa butter, shea butter, and fragrance oil.  The scent is not strong at all.  I am not a fan of rose scented products and I even liked this one.

This bar glides along the skin and melts onto skin with contact.  Very great massage product.  It leaves a very light scent and is the same as the candle with the consistency and oil feel.

same as the Ignite me massage candle

The Please Cream lube came in a 2oz bottle.  This lube is water based and has the consistency of a water based lotion, but with more glide.  Not tacky and doesn't leave a sticky residue.  Good lubrication.

Slight odor...not too unpleasant
water based so it washes of easily (problem if your using the toy or having sex in the shower)

SO...first thing I have to share because I thought it was funny.  I'm a package reader and I was reading the box for this vibe and I find this...
*check out the underlined portion*
This is supposed to be a vibe for the G spot and it even says so on the side, but the product isn't really supposed to go there???

I'm sure its a warning due to a silly California law, but I thought it was funny regardless.

Ok!  Now that we have the warning noted we can move on.
This is a hard plastic vibe and it is a little over 6 inches long.  Very smooth outside with nice curves built into the design for different types of stimulation.  There is a multi speed control dial and the vibrations on this thing go up to a pretty strong setting.  Very good as a G spot vibe and also works  very well for clit stimulation.  The waterproof feature makes it great for shower or bath use.  I would actually recommend that as the main use since this thing is pretty loud even internally and the shower noise should drown out the vibrator noise.

This could also be used with a partner for internal play or clit stimulation during sex.

Very loud...Probably wouldn't use it if you get embarrassed easily and you live with people
Very Hard.  If you like toys with a softer external surface or more give this is not a toy for you

*this toy takes 2 AA batteries and the kit comes with batteries for it so that is convenient*

That's it for this portion of me whoring myself out...stay tuned for more!
If you liked any of the products featured just click the highlighted title links for that product.

*The Good Vibrations site is big on education and has lots of resources even a live chat service to talk to someone educated in sex toys*

The awkward ground of the...dun dun dun... first time

Now I'm not talking about the big V-card. I'm sure anyone reading this has at least one experience under their figurative belt. What is on my mind today is the first time with a new partner. I know I know we all (well we are at least taught that all of us) are supposed to have ONLY one first time, one partner ever. Lets deal with it, as Big B put it to me the other day.....We are in the age of try it before you buy it.

So how do you handle that first time with a new partner? I know for me there are so many things going on not only in my head but that anxious buzz in my entire body. Here are my tips:

A) Give clear and precise signs.  ~ You know yourself, newbie doesn't. If you HATE something don't let newbie stumble upon it. That could be a deal breaker, do not pass go do not collect booty.

B)Don't be afraid to be vocal.~ In the heat of foreplay I know I can't tell the difference between a squirm away and a "I like that too much" squirm. Speak up so that you get what you want you never know your partner might enjoy it more being told exactly what works. 

C) Read the signs! ~ Lord knows that we are all self conscious. Don't forget to think about the other person. If you want clear signs give them out too. No fair leaving the new kid in the dark. 

D) BE SAFE have that talk, be prepared! Who hasn't had that experience where each expects the other to be prepared and have protection? 

E) Don't expect them to be someone they are not. Just because Dave starts with a D, he isn't going to be just like your last guy who was named Doug. That goes for everything though. New person means new experiences so let it happen and don't hold yourself back because of what has happened in the past.

F) Take your time! No need to rush. Enjoy the new/strange feelings and you never know you might learn something about yourself. 

I guess that is all for me this time. Good Luck and defeat that awkward!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Who is knocking on your backdoor??

Yes everyone...By backdoor I am referring to Anal Sex

This may be a little much for some so if your squeamish you might not want to read this post.
*then again I doubt to many prudes will be reading this blog in the first place since it does have a nice little content warning*

Anal sex is still considered a taboo by most of the general population even though sex education and awareness has grown considerably over the years.  Regardless of your stance on doing it or not this is just meant to be an informative post as to the health risks that may be involved and if you should choose to what is the best way to proceed and how to be safe about it.

There are plenty of health risks that come into play with anal play.  As with any other sexual act though if your protect yourself you can severely diminish those risks.  The most common risk is STI's.  There is a higher risk of transference for STI's with anal sex, because the lining in the rectum is very delicate.  Same goes for bacteria infections.  Having anal sex opens you up to the possibility of transference of bacteria from other places to the rectum and from the rectum to other places. 

The best way to protect yourself from these risks is to get yourself tested, use condoms, be clean while your getting dirty ;)  Testing yourself when your sexually active is a big thing.  Not everyone uses condoms every single time (myself included) and you never know what the other person is doing even if they tell you there clean and tested.  Wearing condoms ties into that.  You just don't know where someone has been.  Then there is the cleanliness aspect.  Switching from ass to vagina or vice versa is very dangerous and can lead to nasty infections.  Please, for goodness sake, clean yourself after any type of butt play.  Even just hands on.  Don't spread those germs elsewhere.  Make it fun.  Jump in the shower and was each other afterwards or something, but wash yourself!!

Another major thing when considering adding anal play to your sexual palate is you must be completely comfortable with your partner.  If you don't have good communication and solid understanding of your partners wants, needs, and their comfort zone the chances are it wont be a pleasant experience. So be vocal.  Tell your partner what you want and how you feel.  Being able to express yourself sexually with your partner is a key thing in any relationship anyway so talk to your partner about your fantasies and theirs.  During the act be vocal as well.  If something is uncomfortable let your partner know.  Don't expect them to know what is going on in your head.

Last thing that you need if you intend on having anal play....LUBE!  Please get some lube.  Makes things go much smoother...Pun intended

And that, my blogger friends, was my post on Anal sex.  If you are not into that sort of thing that is your business, but its best to be open and honest with your partner when discussing sex.  Like I said earlier.  That is the key to a healthy sexual relationship and also the key to being satisfied in that relationship.

*Good Vibrations, the site I reveiw toys for now, has a lot of how to information on pretty much anything sex related so if you ever have questions or you just want to learn you should head over there and check it out here

Monday, March 14, 2011

False Advertisment

While browsing through Ross today I came upon a very interesting find
Its essentially an ass push-up bra with padding!
If felt like bra padding too.
Granted this was in Ross so it clearly wasn't a hit seller, but damn!

Who would by this?  Not only is it the worst form of false advertisement, but you know someone is going to catch on quick.  Seriously.  Some guys gonna try to grab the butt and get a hand full of padding then its all down hill from there.  I have no shortage in the booty, but I would rather have a flat ass than ever wear something like this.

Personally I like rocking the push up bra, but I don't consider that false advertisement.  I don't stuff it with gel things that they have everywhere now.  I'm not talking about those stick on strapless/backless gel things either.  I'm talking the add a cup size or two things. 
And fake nipples???  There are some instances where I don't judge wearing inserts like sewn into a strapless gown so you don't see nipple through or in the case of my late grandmother in place of her missing breast after a mastectomy.

I'm talking about ladies that put in false boobies and go out looking to land a man.  Eventually he is going to find out and personally I would be pissed.

You go in expecting this

and instead you get this

The last form of false advertisement I have been guilty of myself a time or two.  I own a spanx slip to wear under my dresses (not that I wear dresses that much...I'm a jeans and heels kinda girl).
I don't see these as too high on the deception scale, because your not adding anything, and its still all yours.  I think for the most part women don't need these either.  If you know how to dress yourself well and buy quality clothes that fit you there is no need for shape wear most of the time.
I think the point I'm trying to get across is embrace what you have, because that is the sexiest thing of all.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Adventures in Bondage

Hey everyone!  Its B (Brandi)
I guess its about time I chimed in on a topic!

I have always liked a little kink with my sex.  I like things rough, fast, and hard.  The more scratching, biting, hair pulling, and spanking the better.  Don't get me wrong.  I like making love too, but there is something hot about rough sex.
I have always been interested in BDSM...Not hard core, but light BDSM is a big turn on.
I have been handcuffed (please get the fluffy kind or some other kind of restraint because metal handcuffs can cut your arms pretty bad if you like to move during sex) and that was awesome.  I love when my hands are restrained.  It makes me struggle more and try to touch and it adds to the excitement.  I haven't gone to far into actually acting out the fantasies, but there are quite a few there that I want to try.

I really would like to learn more about the scene and try out some new things.
Anybody have any tips or suggestions??

Sunday, March 6, 2011


Hello again

I know it has been a few days since you have seen anything from us and this weekend was a good one for me ;-) That isn't what Im going to share with you lovelies today though. Don't pout to much, I'm still getting used to putting it all out there, I'm sure the dirty stuff will come. (tee hee hee) I really just had a question for the masses. Would you attend a lingerie party? If so how far would you go in attire? Personally I think it would be a grand time if hosted correctly. There is always that chance for it to sway to the "awkward turtle" or "bad frat party."
Just something that had been on my mind lately.....

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Tell us what you really think...

I am working on a regular blog feature on topics related to sex and your opinions.

This will be a guest feature in which I will have guest answering questions based on there opinions...Telling their dislikes and likes about these topics and everyone else will have the opportunity to get involved to via comments and future guest posts.

Are there any topics in which you all would like to jump into?
I have a few to start out with, but based on comments and what you want to talk about that is subject to change.  So let us know what you think.

If your interested in being a guest for this feature feel free to contact me.