Friday, March 25, 2011

The awkward ground of the...dun dun dun... first time

Now I'm not talking about the big V-card. I'm sure anyone reading this has at least one experience under their figurative belt. What is on my mind today is the first time with a new partner. I know I know we all (well we are at least taught that all of us) are supposed to have ONLY one first time, one partner ever. Lets deal with it, as Big B put it to me the other day.....We are in the age of try it before you buy it.

So how do you handle that first time with a new partner? I know for me there are so many things going on not only in my head but that anxious buzz in my entire body. Here are my tips:

A) Give clear and precise signs.  ~ You know yourself, newbie doesn't. If you HATE something don't let newbie stumble upon it. That could be a deal breaker, do not pass go do not collect booty.

B)Don't be afraid to be vocal.~ In the heat of foreplay I know I can't tell the difference between a squirm away and a "I like that too much" squirm. Speak up so that you get what you want you never know your partner might enjoy it more being told exactly what works. 

C) Read the signs! ~ Lord knows that we are all self conscious. Don't forget to think about the other person. If you want clear signs give them out too. No fair leaving the new kid in the dark. 

D) BE SAFE have that talk, be prepared! Who hasn't had that experience where each expects the other to be prepared and have protection? 

E) Don't expect them to be someone they are not. Just because Dave starts with a D, he isn't going to be just like your last guy who was named Doug. That goes for everything though. New person means new experiences so let it happen and don't hold yourself back because of what has happened in the past.

F) Take your time! No need to rush. Enjoy the new/strange feelings and you never know you might learn something about yourself. 

I guess that is all for me this time. Good Luck and defeat that awkward!


  1. Indeed! My philosophy is straight and to the point, but don't rush it. Don't be naive about what you want, but don't ruin it by jumping right in. Although there have been times, when the rush is the best part *sigh*

  2. Good advice. Communication is key to good sex. We all assume that grunts and groans are sufficient to guide our partners but you can't beat clear instructions. And it makes it more fun.